Elle is an artist and author and just a genuinely amazing human. You’ve seen her design work on Medium, Uber, and many other recognizable brands as she came out the legendary design firm, IDEO. She was part of the 30 Days of Genius series on this podcast where we took a deep dive into finding our calling with the help of her breakthrough book, The Crossroads of Should And Must. I’ve personally found the idea of Should vs Must as a powerful tool that helps explore the tension between the expectations that parents, friends, and culture put on us versus who we are and what we know to be true.
In this conversation, we get into a project I really love, the 100 day project and how powerful daily action can unlock the biggest ah ha moments. We are also joined by Susie Herrick, co-author of their new book Your Story Is Your Power; Free Your Feminine Voice, which really helps pull the curtain back of the importance of personal connection, relationships, and how powerful our own personal story is in everything we do. When you connect with your story and your voice, you can … as Elle calls it, live life in full color.
In today’s episode,
- Gurdjieff says the first thing a prisoner needs to do to get out of prison is to recognize they are in a prison. Many of us are imprisoned by the things we “should” be doing. Here are the three questions to ask yourself to break down your shoulds- Where did I first hear this? Are you true for me? Do I want to keep holding on to you?
- Small actions taken regularly can create huge results. Join the100daychallenge to push yourself to publish something creative every day for 100 days.
- Regardless of if you’re a woman or not, you have a feminine voice and you have power in that feminine voice. The world will be a better, stronger, kinder place as we all empower our femininity, inclusivity, and community.
The process is the product.
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Some Questions I Ask:
- What was your personal journey like at the crossroads of should and must? [2:40]
- Give us a summary of The Crossroads of Should and Must. [8:00]
- What does should feel like? [10:40]
- What does must feel like? [12:40]
- Why do we fill our lives with shoulds, when we aspire to fill our lives with musts? [14:17]
- Was striving to be a lawyer a should for you? [17:12]
- Were you trying to access creativity through others by going down the path of an intellectual property lawyer? [19:20]
- What was it that woke you up to your life and helped you decide that you could live a creative life? [22:17]
- How do people connect and join the 100 day project? [28:00]
- Do you have a desired outcome from the 100 day project? [28:55]
- How did you get from The Crossroads of Should and Must to your new book, Your Story is Your Power? [33:00]
- What are some of the things you discovered about your feminine voice and how can men free their feminine voices? [36:26]
- Elle, how did you discover your feminine voice? [41:30]
- Susie, how do you wrap not being gender specific into this conversation? [46:50]
- What are some terms that you could share to better understand what femininity is? [48:48]
- Is it just a scary time, or is the other side of scary profound? What’s the future look like? [60:00]
- Has the underrepresentation of women in tech in the Bay Area impacted the work you’ve done? [75:20]
- How long did the book take you to write? [84:00]
- Did you have another book in mind or was this just something that had to happen? [87:10]
- How can everyone follow along with the 100 day project? [89:57]
In This Episode, You Will Learn:
- Check out Elle’s previous book, The Crossroads of Should and Must. [2:14]
- How a recurring dream about a white room inspired Elle to find that room in real life. [2:50]
- Check out my last interview with Elle on 30 Days of Genius. [7:45]
- Gurdjieff says the first thing a prisoner needs to do to get out of prison is to recognize they are in a prison. Make a list of the “shoulds” in your life to see if they are in conflict with your musts. [9:20]
- The three questions to ask yourself to break down your shoulds. Where did I first hear this? Are you true for me? Do I want to keepy holding on t you? [15:00]
- How Elle and my stories run similarly parallel. [20:30]
- Why you need to do the 100 day project. [23:08]
- Why calling yourself an artist is important if you want to be an artist. Words matter. [26:23]
- Join in the making by searching #the100dayproject. [28:25]
- You don’t need to quit your job to find your calling. [30:52]
- Check out Elle and Susie Herrick’s new book Your Story Is Your Power: Free Your Feminine Voice as well as Susie’s memoir Aphrodite Emerges. [33:00]
- Susie Herrick joins us on the show! [37:35]
- How princess stories have been offering an unfair life trajectory for girls to look up to. [43:00]
- How Susie reprogrammed her internal misogynistic voice. [45:00]
- Try employing the amplification strategy if you feel like you’re not being heard or your ideas are being taken by others. [51:54]
- How Elle dealt with her inner misogynist when getting slapped on the butt on a first date. [55:00]
- “Love doesn’t always mean making things ok. Sometimes love means making things not ok.” -Susie Herrick [58:15]
- “A lot of individual change creates collective change.” [64:00]
- Why creating and fostering a community is required if you want your art and message to spread. [68:11]
- How casting a black, female lieutenant on the original Star Trek series gave hope to Whoopi Goldberg, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, and surefly others to strive to do more. [71:12]
- Check out the book, The Origin of Misogyny, the World’s Oldest Prejudice, for more background on the inspiration of Your Story is Your Power. [76:59]
- Why more women need to be part of developing AI. [77:30]
- Check out Chris Sacca’s article to women, “I Have More Work To Do”. [79:00]
- A great metaphor for how we are fish swimming in sexist water, but don’t realize it until an air bubble of feminism floats by. [83:00]
- Be sure to go to the100dayproject.org and check out @elleluna all over the internet. [90:15]
- “Truth without heart is cruelty. Just because we have a sword of truth doesn’t mean we should swing it with all we’ve got.” – Unknown [92:50]
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