Have you ever asked yourself how your relationships influence your creativity or the pursuit of your dreams? Or the inverse, how how being a creator impacts the connections in your life? Taking into account the time and energy required to run a business or pursue dreams with a two year inversion of normality, it makes sense that some friends and family don’t always see the best version of us.
In this episode, we explore how our relationships impact our creativity and visa versa and what more we can do to cultivate human connection. I explore three that have been huge unlocks in my life.
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What happens when you point a finger at someone? If you look at your hand, you actually have three fingers pointing back at you. So sure. We may have challenges communicating with others, our partners, our peers, our coworkers, but the awareness of what we are doing ourselves, the roles, biases, thoughts, and actions that we have and how they affect the world around us is a great place to start.
Knowing why people do what they do is the most important tool we can possess, without which our other talents can only take us so far. – Robert Greene
Of course, self-awareness is a lifelong pursuit. Its origins can be traced back thousands of years. Socrates coined the term most definitively: know thyself. Today, legendary thinkers and authors like Robert Greene and Vanessa Van Edwards are tackling the same concepts through a modern lens. If you haven’t had a chance to dig into their work, highly recommend starting with a couple of previous episodes on the show. Both also have great books worth reading: Laws of Human Nature and Cues. As Robert so aptly states “knowing why people do what they do is the most important tool we can possess, without which our other talents can only take us so far.”
Whose opinion really matters?
Let’s face it. We’re social animals. We spend a lot of time (for better or worse) thinking about the way that other people perceive us. We get a lot of inbound of people’s opinions. How do we sort through the noise and tune into what matters most? For this, I could not answer it better than Brené Brown who quoted Theodore Roosevelt on her first appearance on my podcast:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
And here’s the ah ha moment. The opinions that matter are those in the arena. I love this story from Brené Brown on keeping a tiny one inch by one inch piece of paper with the names of people whose opinion really matters.
This advice from @brenebrown is a game changer. Pause what you're doing right now and make your list. 😉⚡️⚡️⚡️https://t.co/rrT0DpH0mu pic.twitter.com/sp2uCJh7XF
— Chase Jarvis (@chasejarvis) January 20, 2022
10/10 would recommend. 😁
Family and trusted advisors
While our close friends, family, and loved ones have our best interest at heart, they are trying to protect us. Grandma telling us what to be as a career or your career counselor reminding you that you must find a secure job that pays the bills can be incredibly damaging to our ambition and creativity. Remember – the only person living your life, is you. Not everyone (even the closest to you) will see and understand the rare, beautiful point of view that you might have. So if you haven’t already, audit the people you have around you. Certainly I’m not suggesting cut your family out, but unless they are in the arena, they may not be the best suited advisors.
Human connection plays a direct role in how you show up in the world, and the way in which you pursue your dreams. This week, take some time to evaluate how your relationships impact your creativity, productivity and mental state.
Resources mentioned in the episode:
- Vanessa Van Edwards: How to Use Non-Verbal Cues
- Dr. Robert Green: https://powerseductionandwar.com/
- Dr. Brene Brown: https://brenebrown.com/
- Dr. Nicole LePera: https://theholisticpsychologist.com/
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